Great Writers ​Replace ​C​lichés With ​Puns

Here’s an email I just sent to my business-writing students:

​Great writers subtly violate their reader’s expectations in order to surprise, to delight, or to emphasize a point.

For example, instead of relying on a cliché, great writers create a pun. (As wordsmith par excellence William Safire memorably put it, “Avoid clichés like the plague; seek viable alternatives.”)

You may remember the example I used in class: Instead of saying, “Go big, or go home,” try saying something like, “Go big, then go home.”

This is punning 1.0. But if you want to get fancy, here’s how to create a 2.0 pun:

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.” It means, If you’re preparing to do battle, then suit up appropriately.

To avoid this cliché, most writers might change “knife” or “gun” to something even more dramatic — say, “pillow” or “grenade.” That’s good, but not great. Great writers would go one step further.

For example, here’s a sentence I just read by Eric Levitz (note: the subject of the sentence, Michael Avenatti, is a pugilist who would explode the Queensbury Rules practiced by today’s congressional Democrats):

“Avenatti is bringing a knife to a policy fight.”

The pun is subtle yet sophisticated. It changes the original in a way you don’t anticipate, but which you appreciate. And that’s the stuff of which great writing is made.

The 9 Worst Cliches in PR

Via Shawn Paul Wood.

1. At the End of the Day. Let’s just wait until the sun goes down, and maybe Dracula or the Werewolf can kill the next person who says this doltish idiom.

2. Innovate. Since we are so big on this word, how about we please innovate another word that means “my client makes really cool stuff.”

3. Drill Down. Do you work in the petrochemical field? Fancy fracking much? What about a carpentry? Unless you plan to use said power tool, let go of this phrase.

4. Solution. This word is actually important when used correctly, because it’s fairly accurate and descriptive. Unfortunately, it doesn’t solve the need to consultant a thesaurus.

5. Stakeholder. At first, this mysterious person had a stake in the plan. Then, it was a share or a stake, because who knows?! Now, it’s like a bottlenecker driving next to a wreck.

6. Leader. We get it. Journalists get it too. You can’t say your client is “the best” because that sounds too haughty, so masking it as near the front of the pack will help. Only, it never does.

7. Take It Offline. You do realize you we were never online, right? Unless you’re having a chat via IM or Skype, just unplug it.

8. Low-Hanging Fruit. For the love of God, can we simply break this twig so that fruit can roll on down the hill and stop hanging. Set it free already.

9. Open the Kimono. Evidently, there is a rather large and spunky nudist colony in Kyoto because a few PR firms have been fascinated with someone’s private parts. Can we put a full-length trenchcoat on, please?

How Many of These Cliches Do You Use?

Carlos Lorzada:

• Literally
• Kingmaker
• The [anything] community
• Inside the Beltway
• Demurred
• It’s the [anything], stupid
• Redux
• That’s just [person’s name] being [person’s name]
• It is what it is
• Political theater
• Part and parcel
• Main Street vs. Wall Street
• At first glance
• As a society (or “as a nation”)
• Observers
• TK is not alone
• Pundits say (or “critics say”)
• The American people (unless in a quote)
• The narrative (unless referring to a style of writing)
• Probe (as substitute for “investigation”)
• A rare window (unless we’re talking about a real window that is in fact rare)
• Begs the question (unless used properly—and so rarely used properly that not worth it)
• Be that as it may
• It is important to note that
• Needless to say
• [Anything] 2.0 (or 3.0, or 4.0 . . .)
• At a crossroads
• TK is a favorite Washington parlor game
• Yes, Virginia, there is a TK
• Underscored
• Midwife (as a verb that does not involve childbirth)
• Call it TK
• Pity the poor TK
• Imagine (as the first word in your lede)
• It’s the TK, stupid
• Palpable sense of relief
• Rorschach test (unless it is a real one)
• The Other
• Effort (as a verb)
• Gestalt/Zeitgeist
• Little-noticed (that just means the writer hadn’t noticed it)
• he [anything] community
• Hastily convened
• Ignominious end
• Tightly knit community
• In the final analysis
• At the end of the day
• Literally (unless quoting Vice President Biden)
• Ultimately (especially as first word of last graf)
• Redux
• Rise of the 24-hour news cycle (it rose a long time ago)
• Remains to be seen
• Feeding frenzy/feeding the frenzy
• Double down
• [Anything]-gate
• Dons the mantle of
• Political theater
• Hot-button issue
• Face-saving compromise
• The argument goes (or its cousin, “the thinking goes”)
• Shutter (as a verb)
• Part and parcel
• Demurred
• It is what it is
• The new normal
• Paradigm shift (in journalism, all paradigms are shifting)
• Unlikely revolutionary (in journalism, all revolutionaries are unlikely)
• Unlikely reformer (in journalism, all reformers are unlikely)
• Grizzled veteran (in journalism, all veterans are grizzled—unless they are “seasoned”)
• Manicured lawns (in journalism, all nice lawns are manicured)
• Rose from obscurity (in journalism, all rises are from obscurity)
• Dizzying array (in journalism, all arrays make one dizzy)
• Withering criticism (in journalism, all criticism is withering)
• Predawn raid (in journalism, all raids are predawn)
• Sparked debate (or “raised questions”)
• Ironic Capitalizations Implying Unimportance of Things Others Consider Important
• Provides fresh details
• But reality/truth is more complicated (oversimplify, then criticize the oversimplification)
• Scarred by war
• Main Street vs. Wall Street
• Shines a spotlight on (unless there is a real spotlight that really shines)
• TK is no panacea (nothing is)
• No silver bullet
• Shifting dynamics
• Situation is fluid (code for “I have no idea what is going on”)
• Partisans on both sides
• Charm offensive
• Pushback
• Going forward
• Stinging rebuke
• Mr. TK goes to Washington (unless a reference to the actual movie)
• The proverbial TK (“proverbial” doesn’t excuse the cliche, just admits you used it knowingly)
• Fevered speculation
• Oft-cited
• Iconic
• Growing body of evidence (in journalism, no bodies of evidence ever shrink)
• Increasingly (unless we prove in the story that something is in fact increasing)
• Tapped (as substitute for “selected” or “appointed”)
• Any “not un-” formulation (as in “not unsurprising”)
• There, I said it (more self-important than “voicey”)
• To be sure

Addendum (5/15/2014): How about these (also from Lorzada)?

• At first glance (or worse, “at first blush”)
• As a nation (or worse, “as a society”)
• Upon deeper reflection (why not reflect deeply from the start?)
• Observers (unless referring to people actually sitting around watching something)
• [Person] is not alone (from anecdote to generalization, we get it)
• And [someone/something] is no exception
• Pundits say
• Critics say (or “critics are quick to point out”)
• The American people (unless in a quote)
• The narrative (unless referring to a style of writing)
• Probe (an uncomfortable substitute for “investigation”)
• Opens/offers a rare window (unless it is a real window that is in fact unusual)
• Begs the question (unless used properly – and so rarely used properly that it’s not worth the trouble)
• Be that as it may
• If you will (actually, I won’t)
• A cautionary tale
• Needless to say (then don’t say it)
• Suffice it to say (if it suffices, then just say it)
• This is not your father’s [anything]
• [Anything] 2.0 (or 3.0, or 4.0…)
• At a crossroads (unless referring to an actual intersection)
• The powers that be
• Outside the box (describes creative thinking — with a cliche)
• A favorite Washington parlor game
• Yes, Virginia, there is a [something]
• Christmas came early for [someone]
• Chock full (“full” is just fine by itself)
• Last-ditch effort (unless ditch-digging is involved)
• Midwife (as a verb, unless involving childbirth)
• Cue the [something]
• Call it [something]
• Pity the poor [something]
• It’s the [something], stupid
• Imagine (as the first word in your lede)
• Time will tell if [something]
• Palpable sense of relief (unless you can truly touch it)
• Plenty of blame to go around
• Rorschach test (unless it is a real one)
• Turned a blind eye
• Underscores
• Cycle of violence (unless referring to a particularly vicious Schwinn)
• Searing indictment
• Famously (if readers know it, you don’t need to tell them it is famous; if they don’t know it, you just made them feel stupid)
• The Other (or “otherize,” “otherization” and other variations)
• Effort (as a verb)
• Table (as a verb, as in “table the talks”)
• Shutter (as a verb, as in “they shuttered the factory”)
• Gestalt/Zeitgeist
• Orwellian (unless discussing George Orwell)
• Machiavellian (unless discussing Niccolo Machiavelli)
• Gladwellian (never)
• What happens in [somewhere] stays in [somewhere]
• Oft-cited
• Little-noticed
• Closely watched
• Hastily convened
• Much ballyhooed
• Shrouded in secrecy
• Since time immemorial
• Tipping point
• Inflection point
• Point of no return
• The [anything] community
• The devil is in the details
• A ragtag army (or ragtag militia)
• A tale of two [anything]
• Ignominious end
• Tightly knit (unless referring to actual knitting)
• In the final analysis (especially as beginning of a final sentence/paragraph)
• Ultimately (same as above)
• For all intents and purposes
• At the end of the day (same as above)
• Who lost [insert country here]?
• Punditocracy
• Twitterati
• Commentariat
• Chattering classes
• Naysayers
• Took to Twitter
• Tongues wagging
• White-shoe law firm
• Well-heeled lobbyists
• Skittish donors
• Byzantine rules (unless referring to the empire in the Middle Ages)
• Rise of the 24-hour news cycle (it’s been a while)
• In the digital age (again, it’s been a while)
• Not so fast
• Remains to be seen
• Tenuous at best
• Woefully inadequate
• Or so it seems
• Depending on whom you ask
• Burst onto the national political scene
• For now (especially at the end of a sentence set off by a dash; all it does is negate everything that ame before)
• Tectonic shifts or seismic shifts (unless real ones)
• Feeding frenzy/feeding the frenzy
• Double down
• Game-changer
• [Anything]-gate (especially if you’re writing in The Washington Post)
• In the wake of [anything]
• How I learned to stop worrying and love the [anything]
• Don the mantle of [anything]
• Usher in an era of [anything]
• A portrait emerges
• In a nutshell
• The social fabric (or “the very fabric of our democracy/nation/society”)
• Hot-button issue
• Perfect storm
• Face-saving compromise
• Eye-popping
• The argument goes
• The thinking goes
• Contrary to popular belief
• Intoned
• The new normal
• The talk of the town (unless referring to the New Yorker section)
• It couple (or “power couple”)
• Paradigm shift (in journalism, all paradigms are shifting)
• Unlikely revolutionary (in journalism, all revolutionaries are unlikely)
• Unlikely reformer (in journalism, all reformers are unlikely, too)
• Grizzled veteran (in journalism, all veterans are either grizzled or “seasoned”)
• Manicured lawns (in journalism, all lawns are manicured)
• Wide-ranging interview (in journalism, all interviews range widely, even if they don’t)
• Rose from obscurity (in journalism, all rises are from obscurity)
• Dizzying array (in journalism, all arrays make one dizzy)
• Withering criticism (in journalism, all criticism is withering)
• Predawn raid (in journalism, all raids take place in the predawn hours)
• Nondescript office building (in journalism, all office buildings are nondescript)
• Unsung hero (in journalism, all heroes lack music)
• Sparked debate
• Raised questions
• Raises more questions than answers
• Raise the specter of [anything]
• More often than not
• hand-wringing
• Ironic Capitalization Implying the Unimportance of Things Others Consider Important
• But reality/truth is more complicated (in journalism, we oversimplify, then criticize the oversimplification)
• Scarred by war (unless referring to real scars)
• War-torn
• War of words (worse if followed by “is heating up”)
• Trading barbs
• Shines a spotlight on [something] (unless there is a real spotlight that is shining)
• [Something] is no panacea
• [Something] is no silver bullet
• Political football
• Political theater
• More than you think (how do you know what I think?)
• Less than you think (how do you know what I think?)
• Not as much as you think (how do you know what I think?)
• You guessed it (how do you know what I guessed?)
• Shifting dynamics (code for “don’t hold me to this”)
• The situation is fluid (code for “I have no idea what is going on”)
• Partisans on both sides
• Charm offensive
• Fallen on hard times
• On thin ice
• Poster child
• Going forward
• Creature of Washington
• Official Washington
• A modest proposal (this was written once, very well, and has been written terribly ever since)
• Stinging rebuke
• Mr. [Anyone] goes to Washington (unless a reference to the actual movie)
• The proverbial [something] (Tacking this in front of a cliche doesn’t excuse it, just admits you used it knowingly)
• Fevered speculation
• Iconic
• How did we get here? (code for “here comes the b-matter”)
• But first, some background (code for “I know more than you do”)
• Growing body of evidence
• [Anything] on steroids (unless you cover professional sports)
• Resists easy classification/categorization
• Increasingly (unless story proves something is in fact increasing)
• Tapped (as substitute for “selected” or “appointed)
• Any “not-un” formulation (as in “not unsurprising that you’d use that cliche”)
• Wait for it
• There, I said it
• And here’s the kicker
• See what I did there?

Addendum (7/11/2014): The fun continues!

76 Phrases You Should Avoid

From the Washington Post:

1. At first glance
2. As a society (or, “as a nation”)
3. Observers
4. TK is not alone
5. Pundits say (or “Critics say”)
6. The American people (unless in a quote)
7. The narrative (unless referring to a style of writing)
8. Probe (as substitute for “investigation”)
9. A rare window (unless we’re talking about a real window that is in fact rare)
10. Begs the question (unless used properly – and so rarely used properly that not worth it)
11. Be that as it may
12. It is important to note that
13. Needless to say
14. [Anything] 2.0 (or 3.0, or 4.0…)
15. At a crossroads
16. Outside the box/Out of the box
17. TK is a favorite Washington parlor game
18. Yes, Virginia, there is a TK
19. Underscored
20. Midwife (as a verb that does not involve childbirth)
21. Call it TK
22. Pity the poor TK
23. Imagine (as the first word in your lede)
24. Palpable sense of relief
25. Rorschach test (unless it is a real one)
26. The Other
27. Effort (as a verb)
28. Gestalt/Zeitgeist
29. Little-noticed (that just means the writer hadn’t noticed it)
30. Hastily-convened
31. Ignominious end
32. Tightly knit community
33. Rise of the 24-hour news cycle (it rose a long time ago)
34. Remains to be seen
35. Feeding frenzy/feeding the frenzy
36. Double down
37. Dons the mantle of
38. Hot-button issue
39. Face-saving compromise
40. The argument goes (or its cousin, “the thinking goes”)
41. Shutter (as a verb)
42. Paradigm shift (in journalism, all paradigms are shifting)
43. Unlikely revolutionary (in journalism, all revolutionaries are unlikely)
44. Unlikely reformer (in journalism, all reformers are unlikely)
45. Grizzled veteran (in journalism, all veterans are grizzled – unless they are “seasoned”)
46. Manicured lawns (in journalism, all nice lawns are manicured)
47. Rose from obscurity (in journalism, all rises are from obscurity)
48. Dizzying array (in journalism, all arrays make one dizzy)
49. Withering criticism (in journalism, all criticism is withering)
50. Predawn raid (in journalism, all raids are predawn)
51. Sparked debate (or “Raised questions”)
52. Ironic Capitalizations Implying Unimportance Of Things Others Consider Important
53. Provides fresh details
54. But reality/truth is more complicated (oversimplify, then criticize the oversimplification)
55. Scarred by war
56. Shines a spotlight on (unless there is a real spotlight that really shines)
57. TK is no panacea (nothing is)
58. No silver bullet
59. Shifting dynamics
60. Situation is fluid (code for “I have no idea what is going on”)
61. Partisans on both sides
62. Charm offensive
63. Pushback
64. Going forward
65. Stinging rebuke
66. Mr. TK goes to Washington (unless a reference to the actual movie)
67. The proverbial TK (“proverbial” doesn’t excuse the cliché, just admits you used it knowingly)
68. Fevered speculation
69. Oft-cited
70. Iconic
71. Growing body of evidence
72. Increasingly (unless we prove in the story that something is in fact increasing)
73. Tapped (as substitute for “selected” or “appointed)
74. Any “not-un” formulation (as in “not unsurprising”)
75. There, I said it (more self-important than “voicey”)
76. To be sure